Breakups are almost always painful.
They also tend to end with each partner trying to get the upper hand and prove that he or she isn’t the one who destroyed the relationship. This creates a mess of he said/she said situations, ever-growing tensions, and an environment where the core issues get lost under all the head games going on.
A head game, by its very nature, is an act of deception. It’s a dishonest effort to gain an advantage over your partner.
The problem is that you can get so wrapped up in trying to prove your position that you don’t even realize you’re playing head games with your partner. So you have to be willing to step back and take an honest look at yourself and your actions. Are you being upfront with your partner? Are you trying to solve relationship issues or is it more important that you’re right? Is your goal to save the relationship or is it to be the winner after the breakup? Or are you secretly trying to hurt your partner?
Sometimes asking these questions will bring up answers that are a little unnerving, but it’s important to thoroughly understand your own motives and goals as you go through difficult times in a relationship. What kind of a person are you?
